WHAT IS TRUE FRIENDSHIP?

I have had many "friends" in my lifetime but can not really say I have had a true "best friend" in my entire lifetime ... till now. In my friendships I usually felt like I must do all the "pursuing", giving, "working" to make it grow and last. Friendships take time and effort to develop and grow... for both parties involved ... just like marriage does. It requires sacrifice at times to help a friend, expecting nothing in return. It requires taking time and making a conscious effort to talk, spend time together, and building trust in order to establish a true friendship.

Yes, Jim and I have been very blessed with friends across the country through our ministries in various churches but when God closes the door and we move on ... the friendships are not as "real" anymore. I believe we have many friends in our church right now ... but what is at the "heart" of our friendships? I often feel a barrier of having true friendship with any of them because we are the Pastor and wife and you certainly cannot favor one over the other in the congregation or it could cause division in the church ... at least that is how we feel.

Yet Barb Marsh has come the closest to being my "best friend" within the church. She is always "there" for me. I know that she would set aside any of her own needs to meet my own, if at all possible. But that is who "Barb" is ... to everyone. She is a very loving, compassionate, giving person. I admire her. Even when she is down and "out", hurting or sick or under insurmountable stress, she seeks to minister to others. How I pray God's richest blessings on her in return. She has visited me when I was sick and provided a meal, brought me a special treat and gift on my birthday, brought her family to help us on a home improvement project (even when she has many of her own she "can't find time for" :)) ... that is "Barb". I love her and appreciate her so much as many do because she does it for everyone, it seems! WOW!

However, last Saturday I finally realized that I have a true "best friend" in Barb Hanson. She has pursued my friendship and sought to "be there" for me in more ways than I can count. She and I can really share anything with each other and be "real" ... accepting each other's differences and uniqueness ... enjoying each other's company. Our husbands bonded first as best friends but I subconsciously "held off" from even allowing myself to bond with Barb because of ... I don't know. Past experiences and disappointments in friendships, I guess, where I seemed to always have to be the one "pursuing", giving, encouraging, etc. Last weekend I realized Barb may justly have felt that way about me. I realized I had held her "at bay" and robbed myself of the friendship I have always longed for. Well, no more! I thank God so much for bringing her my way. I hope I can bring joy, laughter, encouragement, companionship, help and strength to her as much as she brings to me. It feels so good to have a reciprocal relationship with my newfound "best friend." I kinda feel like a "schoolgirl" when I say "best friend", but that's okay. "Growing old is inevitable but growing up is optional"!!! God is good!

RUNNING THE RACE

Well, my Honey ran his race in Akron and beat his last time ... I knew he would! He finished the 26.2 miles in 4 hours and 6 minutes compared to 4 hours and 32 minutes last year. At this rate of improvement, and considering he will be entering a new age bracket after Nov. 4, he might even qualify for the Boston marathon next year! That would be so COOL for him. It was a rather cold, drizzly day but he hung in there and seemed to be in great spirits when he completed it .... already looking forward to next year!

A friend of his ran too and this was his 27th marathon. His wife is not quite so excited as I am. I wonder if the novelty of being a bystander will wear off for me after lots of marathons have passed? Not that she is any less proud of her hubby (nor would I be of mine) but it is not real exciting standing on the sidelines waiting for another glimpse of him running by. I'm thankful I am not having to endure the yucky cold and drizzly weather (I can cover up with an umbrella and wear warmer clothes) and that I do not have to endure the occasional leg cramps and fatigue that must come with running that far. I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels to run in a marathon nor understand WHY someone would want to do it! It's one of those things I would smile and say, "And you PAID to do this?" What is it that inspires someone to want to run these races? I understand some do it for the monetary prize at the end ... hoping to win a cash prize. But others, like my honey, just want the joy of completing the race, and hopefully improve his own stamina and time.

WOW! I do think there has to be a great spiritual parallel here! As we run our individual "race" of life, what keeps us going? No one can run that race for us. They can cheer us on, encourage us, pray for us, love us, believe in us and try to "be there" for us to support us in any way possible - even as I do for my honey as he runs his marathons. But they cannot ever feel the depths of our own internal struggles - pain, disappointment, fatigue ... things that make our race more difficult (like the cold and drizzly weather of my honey's marathon day). They also cannot ever feel the depths of our joys as we conquer different things that we battle against which make "life" so difficult at times, when the victories are gained ... that lead to the joy of completing the race. They may be happy and excited for us, as I am for Jim, but their happiness and joy is on a different level.

As I sit here writing about this and thinking of that parallelism, it gives me a little insight into the struggle of others in their spiritual journey. I am so "into" this spiritual "race" and have come through so many of the small races with their pain, difficulties, defeats and victories along the way, that I have learned to just "keep my eyes on Jesus" and lean on Him daily as I seek Him constantly in prayer, His Word, and fellowship with other believers who "cheer me on". I get so frustrateed with others, at times, who often come to a point of feeling like giving up, not being faithful in their church attendance and fellowship with others who can support them and, worse of all, not being faithful to God by seeking Him daily in prayer and reading His Word. I have to remember that I was also "there" once in my spiritual journey. I have been running this race much longer. As a "bystander" observing them in their race, I cannot truly feel their pain and difficulties that their personal "spiritual race" is bringing their way. I can cheer them on but I cannot run their race for them. That is so hard to accept. I want so bad to pick them up and carry them. Other times I feel like smacking them and telling them to just "grow up and get with the program"! Oops! That doesn't sound very compassionate and "Christ-like", does it? It's just I know that, if they truly put Christ on the throne, things will start going better for them.

God's Word says it all:

"You were running such a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?" (Gal.5:7)

"Come near to God and He will come near to you." (James 4:8)

" Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:12-13)

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
(I Corinthinans 15:58)

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1-2)

In Ephesians 6:10-18 we are told to put on the "full armor of God" so that we are able to "STAND". We are repeatedly urged in this passage to STAND FIRM.

AS FOR ME ...

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like Him in his death, and so somehow to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already attained this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." (Philippians 3:10-16)

I WANT TO "RUN MY RACE"/"WALK MY TALK" IN SUCH A WAY, THAT, WITH PAUL, I CAN CONFIDENTLY SAY TO THOSE WHO HAVE KNOWN ME:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:8-9)


If you think you are not as close to God as you once were, here is the question: "Who moved?"

God hasn't. He is still there with open arms ready to carry you, lead you, and help you complete this "race of life". But He will not force Himself upon you...He loves you too much to make you His mere "puppet". YOU must make the first move back to His loving arms. You may actually be doing just fine in God's eyes but are just going through a "dry spell". Our race may take us through the lush green valleys, over hills and high mountains, along the cool refreshing rivers, through the brights sunny days or the cold and dismal nights ... even through dry, arid lands called deserts. But God is always there. He promises to never leave us nor forsake us. We just have to seek Him even more fervently and not let our human emotions guide us. Stand firm on God's Word ... quoting His promises .. not wavering from the "truth" He has allowed you to traverse this "dry, arid land" because He knows you are ready for it (even though you may not realize it) ... He believes in You. One day you will return to the lush green pastures and calm, still waters.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5,6)