WHAT IS TRUE FRIENDSHIP?

I have had many "friends" in my lifetime but can not really say I have had a true "best friend" in my entire lifetime ... till now. In my friendships I usually felt like I must do all the "pursuing", giving, "working" to make it grow and last. Friendships take time and effort to develop and grow... for both parties involved ... just like marriage does. It requires sacrifice at times to help a friend, expecting nothing in return. It requires taking time and making a conscious effort to talk, spend time together, and building trust in order to establish a true friendship.

Yes, Jim and I have been very blessed with friends across the country through our ministries in various churches but when God closes the door and we move on ... the friendships are not as "real" anymore. I believe we have many friends in our church right now ... but what is at the "heart" of our friendships? I often feel a barrier of having true friendship with any of them because we are the Pastor and wife and you certainly cannot favor one over the other in the congregation or it could cause division in the church ... at least that is how we feel.

Yet Barb Marsh has come the closest to being my "best friend" within the church. She is always "there" for me. I know that she would set aside any of her own needs to meet my own, if at all possible. But that is who "Barb" is ... to everyone. She is a very loving, compassionate, giving person. I admire her. Even when she is down and "out", hurting or sick or under insurmountable stress, she seeks to minister to others. How I pray God's richest blessings on her in return. She has visited me when I was sick and provided a meal, brought me a special treat and gift on my birthday, brought her family to help us on a home improvement project (even when she has many of her own she "can't find time for" :)) ... that is "Barb". I love her and appreciate her so much as many do because she does it for everyone, it seems! WOW!

However, last Saturday I finally realized that I have a true "best friend" in Barb Hanson. She has pursued my friendship and sought to "be there" for me in more ways than I can count. She and I can really share anything with each other and be "real" ... accepting each other's differences and uniqueness ... enjoying each other's company. Our husbands bonded first as best friends but I subconsciously "held off" from even allowing myself to bond with Barb because of ... I don't know. Past experiences and disappointments in friendships, I guess, where I seemed to always have to be the one "pursuing", giving, encouraging, etc. Last weekend I realized Barb may justly have felt that way about me. I realized I had held her "at bay" and robbed myself of the friendship I have always longed for. Well, no more! I thank God so much for bringing her my way. I hope I can bring joy, laughter, encouragement, companionship, help and strength to her as much as she brings to me. It feels so good to have a reciprocal relationship with my newfound "best friend." I kinda feel like a "schoolgirl" when I say "best friend", but that's okay. "Growing old is inevitable but growing up is optional"!!! God is good!