BLESSINGS AND FRUSTRATIONS

It appears that our family is VERY busy if you see how little any of us have blogged recently! I am so excited that Sunshine is trying to join us in this adventure. It is such a neat way of keeping in touch with each other's innermost feelings and thoughts when you live so far away from each other!

Thanksgiving was a time of frustration for us in not being able to have Sunshine, Aaron, Adelaide and Canaan home. We have only seen them for a short 24 hour visit since August and my grandbabies have grown so much in those months! However, it was also a time of blessings in that James and Kelly and Halle were able to be at home with us for 4 whole days and a little more! It was frustrating for all of us that the time went so quickly but James' class had a wonderful class reunion and we had a great family time at my sister-in-law's/niece's home. It was so good to be able to show off one of my grandbabies, even though I was accused (probably rightly so ... smile) of "hogging" her to myself!

I believe my greatest frustration right now is with the unfaithfulness of so many of the followers of Christ. Does it make sense that you would have over 90 in church one Sunday (with no special emphasis) and then be down to 48 the very next Sunday? And why is it that our tithes and offerings began to decrease every week since the holidays came upon us? Are people out shopping for Christmas instead of going to church? Are they using their tithes and offerings, which we have tried to teach them is a commandment from God (not a choice) to buy Christmas gifts? I know I am not to judge but we have sought to teach the steps needed to take towards spiritual maturity for the past 10 years but I wonder how many have really grasped the concepts we have taught? I worry what is to happen to our church at times and I know ours is not the only one that is probably experiencing this during the holidays. I guess it is a sign of the times.

In talking with some fellow Christians the other day we all agreed that sometimes you just feel like shaking those who do not appear to be making consistent progress towards being totally obedient to God in their walk towards full Christian maturity. What blessings they are missing out on! I want them to experience the joy we have felt so often in our lives when we "went without" in order to pay our tithe and received a greater blessing than we could ever dream of as a result of it. I long for them to experience the peace that passes all understanding when trials and testings come their way ( physically, emotionally, in relationships, or financially) and they know they have been fully obedient and faithful to the Lord and kept their relationship with Him strong and alive and know at He is in control. I know I am not perfect, but I sure am trying to "be like Jesus". "Take the time and the trouble to keep yourself spiritually fit." We have quoted that verse over and over. We must be faithful in our attendance at church. We must seek to serve the Lord, even though we may be criticized and it may bring hurt at times, we must do it for Him ... at least He knows our heart. We must be faithful in paying our tithes and offerings regularly, not just when it is convenient. We must DAILY SEEK HIS FACE IN PRAYER AND READING HIS WORD. It is not easy, but it is a must! Oh, Lord, help me to always be faithful ... No matter what others may say about me or do ... Help me keep my eyes focused on YOU.

I guess all of life has its blessings and its frustrations. I will try to focus on "whatsoever is of good report".

CHAPTERS OF OUR LIVES

It is amazing when you stop to think about how, through the decisions you and your loved ones make, you begin "new chapters" of your lives ... bittersweet journeys begun. Bittersweet ... I really like that word. It so describes so many of the events of our journey through life.

Right now I am facing another "bittersweet" moment. A time where I am struggling in having to once again "let go" of my child to allow her to begin another "chapter" of her life ... one that can only enrich her life and happiness (which is my hope and prayer for my children and thus is very "sweet") but will at the same time "hurt deeply" for me personally which is very "bitter".

Holidays. They have always been a time for "family" in our lives. Through the years we have travelled many miles to be with our family for the holidays and gone through a lot of stress in trying to make sure each side of our family got "equal share". We all go through that, don't we? It is even more difficult when you live so far from one another ... When you can't see both sides of the family in one day and be home that night for your own "immediate family" time. Then, when you add to that the desire to be with friends that you haven't been with in years and the opportunity to do so during the holidays ... Well, that is where we are at.

I guess it is even harder for me cause there are grandchildren involved now and I want so much to be a part of their lives. I know that 24 hour occasional visits will not do that but the special warmth, joy, and fellowship found in holiday visits build memories that last a lifetime.

Yet, having also been in the position of living far away and wanting to establish our own traditions, I can understand (and even expected) this to happen someday ... just not this year when I have 2 brand new grandbabies I was looking forward to showing off and having all together in one location for the first time of their (and our) lives.

It helps because I know how dearly our children love us. They are so good at assuring us of that. And I know they will always try to give us some holiday time together. It's just tough and I have to admit it. I wasn't quite ready to accept it even though I knew it would happen. I remember when they got into school and we started to make our own traditions. I believe Sunshine was second grade and James was in Kindergarten that year. We lived close enough that we could celebrate Christmas at home and then go to our folks. It caused a lot of frustration and hurt for our parents but we still had some awesome quality times together. To be honest, for the parents/grandparents that we have now become, no time would probably be the "best time" for our children to begin their own traditions. I guess you just worry about being forgotten ... Isn't that crazy? It is so different being the "old people" at family festivities during the holidays now that all of our parents are gone. This is my first year to experience that and I am realizing it is going to really hit me harder than I thought.

However, I am proud of my daughter for doing what she feels she needs to do. I realize she and her husband have been under tremendous pressurres in their occupations as professors at Houghton college and they just need to "get away" and renew a close friendship. Friends can help us reveal our inner turmoils and find answers and relief sometimes in ways that family cannot. We can reminesce with them and "relive" the days of our youth (in college or high schoold) and, for a moment, go back in time to the yesteryears of less pressures and far less responsibilities.

As the Matthew 19:5 says "...a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife ...". Of course that goes both ways and I quoted it many times to my parents when they could not understand some of the decisions I made that did not always include them. It sure feels different when the shoe is "on the other foot". But that is the cycle of life. Yep, I guess I named this blog spot well as "Journey Through Life" because it is truly a journey ... and with it comes both things that we do and things we do not enjoy. We just must focus on the "good". "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." (Phillipians 4:8) So today I choose to think on the good. I had one of the most enjoyable 24 hours I have ever spent with my daughter last weekend. It was short, but we had a wonderful walk to the playground, enjoyed great times with my grandchildren, and talked from our hearts as we have never talked before. I am so blessed to have such wonderful, loving children. It is so fun to be not only their mom but also to become "their friend" as they go through their "journey through life".

Well, the day is wasting and there is much to do. "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." (Phillipians 4:13)

DROWNED IN GRADE CARDS AND CONFERENCES

Last night I was able to finally attack the huge mountain of papers, mail, books, magazines, etc. that had accumulated on our kitchen table over the past 3 weeks as I have been consumed in grade cards, preparations for Parent-Teacher Conferences, and "life" in general. I took everything off the table and plopped them all on my living room floor to sort through while I
"squeezed in" a movie (I'd practically forgotten we had a television!). Well, I got so absorbed in the movie "Cold Creek Manor", I got little accomplished. It felt so good to just "vegetate". Once it was over, I went back to work.

That was last night. I just got home from my first night of Parent-Teacher Conferences and walked into my living room to face the many piles of sorted "stuff" from my work last night. I think I will let it lay until Monday! (smile) I am going to my daughter's tomorrow so I want to get my lesson planning done and out of the way, get packed, and get some sleep.

I feel like I am beginning to come up for air from the sea of school demands that have been drowning me. I am so thankful to have a supportive, understanding husband through all this.
Well, off to lesson plans!