CHAPTERS OF OUR LIVES

It is amazing when you stop to think about how, through the decisions you and your loved ones make, you begin "new chapters" of your lives ... bittersweet journeys begun. Bittersweet ... I really like that word. It so describes so many of the events of our journey through life.

Right now I am facing another "bittersweet" moment. A time where I am struggling in having to once again "let go" of my child to allow her to begin another "chapter" of her life ... one that can only enrich her life and happiness (which is my hope and prayer for my children and thus is very "sweet") but will at the same time "hurt deeply" for me personally which is very "bitter".

Holidays. They have always been a time for "family" in our lives. Through the years we have travelled many miles to be with our family for the holidays and gone through a lot of stress in trying to make sure each side of our family got "equal share". We all go through that, don't we? It is even more difficult when you live so far from one another ... When you can't see both sides of the family in one day and be home that night for your own "immediate family" time. Then, when you add to that the desire to be with friends that you haven't been with in years and the opportunity to do so during the holidays ... Well, that is where we are at.

I guess it is even harder for me cause there are grandchildren involved now and I want so much to be a part of their lives. I know that 24 hour occasional visits will not do that but the special warmth, joy, and fellowship found in holiday visits build memories that last a lifetime.

Yet, having also been in the position of living far away and wanting to establish our own traditions, I can understand (and even expected) this to happen someday ... just not this year when I have 2 brand new grandbabies I was looking forward to showing off and having all together in one location for the first time of their (and our) lives.

It helps because I know how dearly our children love us. They are so good at assuring us of that. And I know they will always try to give us some holiday time together. It's just tough and I have to admit it. I wasn't quite ready to accept it even though I knew it would happen. I remember when they got into school and we started to make our own traditions. I believe Sunshine was second grade and James was in Kindergarten that year. We lived close enough that we could celebrate Christmas at home and then go to our folks. It caused a lot of frustration and hurt for our parents but we still had some awesome quality times together. To be honest, for the parents/grandparents that we have now become, no time would probably be the "best time" for our children to begin their own traditions. I guess you just worry about being forgotten ... Isn't that crazy? It is so different being the "old people" at family festivities during the holidays now that all of our parents are gone. This is my first year to experience that and I am realizing it is going to really hit me harder than I thought.

However, I am proud of my daughter for doing what she feels she needs to do. I realize she and her husband have been under tremendous pressurres in their occupations as professors at Houghton college and they just need to "get away" and renew a close friendship. Friends can help us reveal our inner turmoils and find answers and relief sometimes in ways that family cannot. We can reminesce with them and "relive" the days of our youth (in college or high schoold) and, for a moment, go back in time to the yesteryears of less pressures and far less responsibilities.

As the Matthew 19:5 says "...a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife ...". Of course that goes both ways and I quoted it many times to my parents when they could not understand some of the decisions I made that did not always include them. It sure feels different when the shoe is "on the other foot". But that is the cycle of life. Yep, I guess I named this blog spot well as "Journey Through Life" because it is truly a journey ... and with it comes both things that we do and things we do not enjoy. We just must focus on the "good". "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." (Phillipians 4:8) So today I choose to think on the good. I had one of the most enjoyable 24 hours I have ever spent with my daughter last weekend. It was short, but we had a wonderful walk to the playground, enjoyed great times with my grandchildren, and talked from our hearts as we have never talked before. I am so blessed to have such wonderful, loving children. It is so fun to be not only their mom but also to become "their friend" as they go through their "journey through life".

Well, the day is wasting and there is much to do. "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." (Phillipians 4:13)