WHAT A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!!!

Jim (my husband) and I went to the Sharon PA car show, ate with our friends and enjoyed a leisurely, "do whatever we want" Saturday. I did not post a blog but I DID EXERCISE and keep up with my plan.

Today we had a church picnic after church. We had at least 60 show up ... more than we ever had before! It was so good to be with "family". They are a great group of people and I love them as much as my blood relatives. God is so good!

When we got home I immediately did my walk for the day. Now Jim and I have the evening to spend together because he does not have to get a "power nap" before work since he is no longer on midnights! Whoopie! A movie maybe and probably a bike ride lie before me so I'm outta here to spend some time with my Honey! (smile)

RETURN TO "NORMAL" MARRIED LIFE?


After 18 years of working on midnights (the graveyard shift) at a factory, my husband has finally secured a day turn position starting now! Well, it is actually effective Monday, August 1st, but he had a vacation day planned for today. We both are very excited but he is ecstatic! I cannot even fathom working that many years on midights, trying to "flip over" your sleep schedule for weekends, not being able to sleep well and truly rest most days, often unable to think clearly or function to the best of your ability ... going to bed when the those you love and the rest of the world are getting out of bed and starting their day. WOW! I hear there are a few souls in this world that truly enjoy that shift but many more abhor it. It changes a person. I realized that when my husband did have about 2 years on a special project in the midst of those 18 years that required him to work days. During those 2 years I rediscovered "my true love". We have worked hard on communicating since that time to make him aware of when he is "slipping away" into the numbness that accompanies midnight turn. It has been a long battle but it has been so worth it! I thank God for finally answering my prayer. I have no idea why His previous answer was always "Wait" but it is not mine to question why. He is in control. I have trusted Him through all the difficulties of my life and I know, without a doubt, that "all things work together for good to those who love the Lord" (Romans 8:28). I do know His grace is sufficient and when I was truly "at the end of my rope" (and my husband was too) the Lord gave him that special project to give us a chance to "regroup" and gain strength for the following years and all they would hold. God is good!

Our new Morton building started going up two days ago and it amazes me how quickly it is happening ... They make it look so easy! If you are interested, my husband has posted pictures of the progress on his site at Webshots.

And, finally, in reguards to my "3 Week Body Makeover Plan" ... I am still on target! I had to deal with some more soreness as I added some heavier weights into my routine but it is nothing like at the beginning. Two more days and I will be one-third of the way through!

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: If you want to be rich, count all the things you have
that money cannot buy. Go ahead, count your blessings! Name them one by one. Go with God!

GOING STRONG AND FEELING BETTER DAILY

I have just completed my 4th day of my "3 Week Body Makeover" plan. I noticed that I was able to go up and down stairs yesterday with a little less pain, alternating my steps, and when I got up this morning I was almost back to normal! I am feeling more energetic and good about myself. I sure hope the soreness doesn't come back today since I did my interval speed walks today. Last time I did them was the day that I ended up hardly being able to move! I know I could never have gotten this far without the accountability of "blogging". Thank you for listening and pray for me that I can complete this goal!

GOD PROMISES HE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE

I watched what a man might call a "sappy" Christian love romance movie called "Love Comes Softly" on TV tonight. The setting was the frontier and the characters were pioneers trying to settle in the West. When the main man character lost his barn to a fire in the story, the main lady character asked him, "How can you believe in a God that would allow horrible things to happen to you (such as the death of his wife, the loss of his barn and all his grain)?" What he answered was such a simple but awesome answer that I wanted to share it with you all because we all go through losses ( I just lost my Mom) and difficult times and no matter how strong we are in our Christian faith sometimes we are hurting so bad we just may shout at God "Why did you let this happen?" I will try to quote his answer as closely as possible:

" I love Missy (his daughter) more than anything in this world. There is not a thing I wouldn't do for her. But let's suppose that one day she and I were walking side by side and she tripped, fell, and hurt herself? Did I allow that to happen? No, and she knew I did not want that to happen to her. She also knew that I was there to pick her up, hold her, comfort her and try to heal her. It is not a question of "why God allows bad things to happen to us and those we love". But it is the assurance that when such things do happen He promises to always be there to pick us up, comfort us and heal us."

Is that AWESOME, or what? God is so good. With that I say "Good Night".

I SHALL PREVAIL! DAY 3 ACCOMPLISHED!

I was in so much discomfort yesterday I wondered if I should take a day to rest today. I had to laugh at myself as I found myself going down steps literally one step at a time, reminding myself of some of my Kindergarten children who have done that, and I could hear myself saying, "Alternate those feet". But, alas, it was beyond my physical capabilities to do so! So I sat on the couch most of the day doing what I call "brain work" as I studied Teacher's Manuals to prepare for the oncoming school year. I even put ice packs on my legs last night for about a half hour or so. Then my hubby and I danced around the room a bit and it seemed to shake the muscles loose ... some. I took an Ibuprofen and Tylenol PM and literally fell into bed.

This morning I was shocked to find I could "alternate my feet" (barely, but I did it!) going down the steps. As I stepped on the treadmill I wondered if I would regret this day's routines but it actually felt good to be walking! The body shaping exercises are not that strenuous except for the pushups. (No, I am not yet ready to send a videotape to my son of that endeavor as he requested!) However, I actually made it through 10 pushups; and that was without securing my feet under the couch to help ... Yes, I confess! I did that Monday! Where there's a will there's a way! At least I did them!! 3 days down and 18 more to go. I shall prevail!!!!!!

GROWING OLD; GROWING UP ... Physically and Spiritually

In my devotions yesterday I read "Old age is the season when we can give ourselves to 'soul-making' as the Quakers say. We can concentrate on getting to know God better and cultivating character traits that make us more like Him. Age breaks down our strength and energy and strips us of our busyness. It's God's way of getting us to slow down so we'll make more time for Him. We can think more deeply about life, about ourselves, and about others."

In some ways I agree with that but, in other ways, I do not. Now that I am nearing "old age" I find I do tend to think more deeply about life, relationships, and others. If we wait until we are "old" to concentrate on getting to know God better and develop Christlikeness it will be much more difficult to "change" and we will have let precious opportunities to be "used by God" slip by us in our "youth". If I had waited until I was "old" to begin trying to develop a healthier lifestyle in eating properly and excercising, my body would be much more difficult to "train" and my poor lifestyle in my youth might inflict upon my body physical complications, diseases, etc. to appear in the "fall of my life" that may have been avoided had I strived towards a healthy lifestyle early in my life.

On this second day of my "3 Week Body Makeover" plan I must admit I am having quite a bit of stiff joints, sore muscles, and general difficulty accomplishing any significant movement very quickly after any sustained period of inactivity. It would have been so much better had I maintianed my healthy habits I had finally established in my 40's but let slip over the past month or so.

I am so thankful I have continued my "healthy habits" in my spiritual walk since I was 12 years old. Sure there have been times I would slip and miss some days in reading God's Word and talking to Him but those days are far and few between these past 3 years or so because I "hunger" for the Lord. I truly want to know Him and become more like Him day by day but it would have been so much more difficult had I not started this journey early in my life ... not Impossible, but more difficult. I am so thankful I did not wait for "old age" to slow me down to begin growing in God.

I have seen many grow to "old age" and never see the rush of their lives "slow down". In fact my father-in-law once marvelled at how he ever had the time to do everything before he retired because he was finding it hard to "get it all done" once he did retire. During our vacation, we met a Christian woman who was 93 years old and still quite spunky. I am sure glad she did not wait for "old age" to slow her down! So we must not wait for, not depend on, "old age" to slow us down to make more time to get to truly know God and allow Him to mold us into His Likeness just as we must not wait until "old age" to seek a healthier lifestyle. We must begin TODAY.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." (I Timothy 4:12 NIV)

May those who come behind us find us faithful!

3 WEEK BODY MAKEOVER - I AM BACK!

Seven weeks ago today I began a "3 Week Body Makeover" plan I found in the August 04 Prevention Magazine. That night my mother passed away. Needless to say, that not only started, but also ended, that plan all in one day. It seems the summer has flown by and life has been crazy but .... it is time to start again!

I love to walk and this plan just appealed to me as a way to tone up those flabby areas that no one really sees but me. (Thank the Lord!) I also know that I feel so much more energetic when I am in a regular exercise routine (which has not been the case recently). (So I started afresh today. It is my hope that blogging my progress will keep me accountable to my goal. My goal? Not to lose a certain amount of weight or take off a specific number of inches from any certain area (although both would be welcome by-products) but get myself into a healthier life style by using this plan as a kickoff.

The 2.2 mile easy walk was most enjoyable and the body-shaping exercises were not too bad until I got to the last one: pushups! I never had much luck doing them in high school and it does not appear I am much more successful now that I am in my 50's! But I "pushed" through to the end. Whew! One day down and only 20 to go!

I remember the physical discomfort this caused me the last time I started this exercise plan and yet I willingly did it again knowing what muscle pain lies before me tomorrow. Is this insanity?

I am just thankful I have the amenities of air conditioning and a treadmill to help me in this endeavor. The humidity, deer flies and mosquitoes would cause me even greater discomfort in the midst of my exercises and I would still have the muscles soreness to deal with the next day. You'd never believe that I love to backpack and rough it in the mountains, would you? Oh, well, I shall prevail!

THOUGHTS ABOUT CHILDREN LEAVING HOME

My daughter and family dropped in last night on their way to her in-laws for her sister-in-laws wedding. One more family joins the ranks of empty-nesters. Sure, once our children leave for college, it is actually just the "two of us" the majority of the time. But you still feel they are "yours" until they marry and/or move out totally on their own. That is when you realize you are no longer the sole provider of their needs. In fact, that young man or young woman that "takes them away" will be able to fill their needs to a deeper level than parents ever can. Then you just pray that they and their spouses will always work to keep their relationship as alive and fulfilling as that first day they met, knowing that if they don't they can also hurt and cripple each other to a deeper level than we as parents ever could. I am so thankful the Lord gave us a wonderful son-in-law and daughter-in-law who have the same Christian heritage and values as our children have developed. I am so thankful their parents did such a great job of raising them. God is good!

THOUGHTS ABOUT THE LOSS OF MY MOTHER, ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, DEATH

In memory of my mother - Juanita Ruth Clouse - "Nita" to many

It was so good to see, hold and play with my grandchildren again. Since they left this morning and I walked by my mother's chair I was reminded how God helped me through my loss of her by giving me a new grandson the month before she passed on and a new granddaughter just a couple weeks after she passed on. New life ... the "final rest" of a life that is over on earth but going on to live in Heaven ... and another new life. Without her these great-grandchildren ... my grandchildren ... would never have been.

Death is only a part of life on earth, and so welcome when you come to a point (as my mother did) where you can no longer do those things you have always loved to do and begin to experience things you never wanted to experience.

One by one over the past year I have seen my mother lose the ability to do those things she always loved to do: be able to remember not only those things of her past but also the last five minutes ( and especially that she had two more great-grandchildren on the way ... Alzheimers Disease robs you of your memory and, thus, your self-esteem since you lose control of your world), be independent and live on her own to come and go as she pleased (living in a nursing home can be so boring to one who still has the zest of life), have a dog, drive a car, travel to visit her loved ones ... especially her grandchildren, give people a "hard time" by teasing them (She had an awesome sense of humor but a "different" way of teasing ... Once you understood her way of teasing you loved her because you knew she loved everyone and never wanted to hurt anyone. She would always say, "You gotta love me the way I am". It was evident she was not about to change! smile), go shopping with her daughter, go out to eat and be able to eat, be able to walk without a cane ( She loved to go for walks but eventually found the cane even to be of little help.

Then she started to experience more and more things that she had prayed she would never go through: falling and not being able to understand why she kept falling, losing the ability to rationalize, concentrate, and understand what is being said, having difficulty following the storyline of even the simplest movie, do crossword puzzles, or remembering how to play her favorite games (like Rummy and Scrabble), losing control of her body functions and, thus, not being able to go to church (This was a crushing blow and the "last straw" I believe; She thrived on the love and hugs of her church family. They even nicknamed her "Nita Hug" for "need a Hug"), facing the fact that pancreatic cancer was a possibility, enduring unending back pain for at least a month ( although Alzheimer's proved to be a blessing in this since she did not remember it from the day before - It was a new discovery each day), not knowing why but feeling safest when she sat in her chair in her room ( This was so out of character for my mother who was very much a "people person"), not having the energy to even get up and walk a few steps to the bathroom ... just wanting to sleep....

It all started about one and one-half years ago ...

My Mother ... as a result of breaking her hip in February 2004 ... was clearly diagnosed with Alzhiemer's (Although you dare not try to tell her that!) and sent to a Nursing Home for rehabilitation and orders that she should never live alone again. The medical panel that met with us on her dismissal from the hospital were shocked that she was still being allowed to drive her car, let alone live by herself. My husband and I were in denial and kept her apartment for 2 months hoping she could one day return to it but in the days that followed our eyes were opened to the truth of what they told us. It was like dealing with a death as I had to give her dog away, sell her car and clean out her apartment. I struggled with guilt the entire year even though I knew that I had no choice in the matter ... that I was doing what was safest and best for her. We would take her to church each Sunday and our church family were so good, understanding and loving to her even to the end. My husband's family took her in as one of their own at family holiday gatherings and touched her heart with their love more that they will ever know. Without the Lord I am sure I would have had an emotional breakdown ... I know I was so close so many times. But He carried me through this year and when the time came I had no idea she was so close to death. Looking back I see the signs were clear but no one told me of their suspicions of the limited time she had left and I blindly pretended all was well even though my husband would gently try to let me know she was going "downhill" and we should tell our children. I kept my children informed of her condition (as much as I was willing to admit it as it was) but I never dreamed that when I visited her that last night (Monday, July 6th, 2005) that I would get a call a couple hours later that they could not get a pulse ... I'll save that story for another entry. This one is long enough. But I still praise my Lord for the "peace that passes all understanding" that He continues to place in my heart knowing that Mom is now able to walk, talk, laugh and enjoy new life with Him!

Ever since I began reading my son's and daughter-in-law's blogs, I have desired to "join the ranks" and today (with my husband's help), I DID IT! I love to journal and I feel this will be a great adventure for me.

We just returned from the White Mountains yesterday and I have been busily unpacking and reorganizing my home. I had to have a break so I sat down to read our kid's blogs to see how life is going for them with their new little one.

It is so exciting being a grandma! It has been an awesome experience with our first (who will soon be 3) and I am so excited to have had two more born this spring/summer. It is so amazing to see my own "little ones" all grown up and taking on the roles of a mommy and a daddy. I am so proud of them and their spouses.

Living three hours away from my grandchildren has its benefits and its disadvantages. I often hear of grandparents all worn out because their children use them as a daily, full time babysitting service (most often FREE) so that they can work with no extra expense. On one hand, I envy those grandparents in being able to play a major role in the upbringing of their grandchildren, seeing them regularly ... being able to watch them grow and mature both physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually. They will be able to "be there" for all of their grandchildren's firsts ... from their first tooth to their first date and all that comes before, between and after those events. They also have the joy of being near their own children who brought these grandchildren into the world ... developing a close friendship with them now that they are grown and no longer need the discipline that often deterred the development of such friendship when they were younger and living at home. What a joy it must be to watch your child regularly,, daily, as he/she grows into adulthood, matures, and takes on new roles of life - especially parenthood. On the other hand I feel sorry for those grandparents that they must often be the disciplinarian and cannot just enjoy every moment they have with their grandchildren. When I see my grandchildren, most of the time I do not have the pressures of being the disciplinarian and I can just enjoy watching them explore life, playing with them, cuddling them ... the easier parts of loving a child. We are blessed with children who do a great job of letting my husband and I know that they love us, appreciate us, care for us, miss us, respect us, still need us, and even admire us and are proud that we are their parents. Too often, once a child leaves home and starts his/her own family, they fail to remember their parents who sacrificed so much so that they could have more. Our children have made a special effort to "be there" for us. I am so thankful. It gives me confidence that, even though miles may separate us, they will make sure our grandchildren know who we are and how much we love them. They have the power to make or break our relationship with them and with their children just by their efforts or negligence. Again I praise the Lord for blessing us with children who "go the extra mile" to "bridge the gap" that distance could cause in our relationships.

I feel our children have truly become our FRIENDS. They even ask us for advice sometimes now .... It's funny how parents all of a sudden become "smart" once their children graduate from high school/college and enter the "real world". When we went on vacation and saw our 2 year old granddaughter she "made my day" as she showed sheer joy in seeing me. For so long it was a matter of me having to make all the efforts to build a relationship with her. It is such a joy to see her finally at an age that she reaches out to me and remembers me and our special times together. How blessed I truly am!

Well, I often have been accused of being "Long-winded" ... and that I am! But in an effort not to bore others I will sign off now and write more later. I will close with my favorite verses:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5,6)

Remember, with every promise God gives us in His Word, there is a premise ... something we must first do to earn that promise! God bless you in your life's journey!