BAC K TO SCHOOL...BACK TO WORK!

I did not choose teaching as my profession due to having the summers off but the older I get the more I appreciate this "fringe benefit". Yes, I have worked on curriculum planning throughout the summer, but it has been at my own pace ... at my own convenience. Today I must report to school by 8:00 AM and work until 3:30 ... and so it will be through May.

This appears to be a promising year for new challenges ... among them is having a large class after being spoiled with 16 last year.

Well, duty calls me, so I better skeedaddle!

DID YOU EVER HAVE A COUPLE DAYS JUST "DISAPPEAR"?

I am not sure what happened to Wednesday and Thursday and this morning ... It all seems a blur. We have spent so much time travelling to and from the hospitals in the past week (for 7 people associated with our church) that it has just flown.

The past 24 hours (except for sleeping time) have been wrapped up in two precious ladies. The faith, peace of heart, and high expectations they have had as they have (between the two of them) faced: A husband's serious illness and hospitalization, a personal stroke and emergency open heart surgery; Within the last year finding out she was at Stage 4 of cancer, Going through Chemo and, today, having the upper portion of her cancerous lung removed (with a prognosis of soon being cancer free! ) etc., etc. ... have blessed me beyond words. It is a privilege to be their pastor and wife. And, praise the Lord, He brought them both through safely and all seems to be going well for both of them. God is good!

What is really awesome is how Jim's secular job at Kennametal "closed down" the past two days, allowing him to be able to be with these two ladies! They had a major electrical problem at the plant which has shut them down until Sunday! God always works all things together for the good!

Well, before anyone else calls to send us out running again, Jim is finally getting a chance to mow the lawn and I better do some more laundry and clean!

I continue to think on what the lady with cancer said concerning the 23rd Psalm, the week prior to her cancer surgery: "God does not say he will deliver us from the "valley of the shadow of death" but he does promise to be with us through the valley ... all the way." It has given a whole new enlightenment to me on a passage of scripture I have read and quoted most of my life. Isn't God good? WOW!

LIVING FOR OTHERS

Over the past week (which was also our VBS week) it seemed my entire life revolved around others ... Their problems, their sicknesses, their hurts, their joys, their stresses, their frustrations ... their past, present and futures. More and more I realize my spiritual gifts of compassion, encouragement, and servanthood ... I am the happiest when I am able to minister to others. That is my greatest joy and fulfillment!

Yesterday, outside of a school obligation in the morning, was "my day" to do things "for me". It was a good relaxing day ... a nice evening with my husband too. It was my first day in 3 weeks that I did not specifically "exercise" but that was alright, I just picked it back up today. I felt happy yesterday and I realized that, although I "hunger" to minister to others, I also need time for "me" and for "us" (my husband and family).

This morning I spent my waking hours making phone calls to more people who are hurting, sick, fearful ... just needing encouragement. I plan to visit some of these people this week, sometimes on my own and sometimes along with my husband when he is not working, and hopefully be able to go with one of them to the hospital when she has surgery. Then, as I took my "walk and talk" with the Lord, I realized that I will not have the luxury of free time to invest in "others" as I begin truly preparing for the school year next week ... This saddens me and I know there will be a great void as I return to work and lack the time to "invest in the lives of others" as much.

Suddenly, I finally came to the realization of the sadness and discouragement .. the great void ... my husband has faced all these years being a bivocational pastor. Even working days will not help him have the time to "be there" for all the growing needs that exist in our church family that he has pastored (supposedly parttime) for the past 10 years. It was difficult when we had only 20 in the church but as we now average 65 or 70, I see how impossible it seems to him. How his shepherd's heart must ache for his flock ... longing to be with them not only in the bad times but also through the good ... but his work in the factory does not allow him to do all his hearts urges him to do! I have seen him too often push himself to try to still "do it all" and one time it even led to physical problems that forced him to "slow down". I know he feels guilty taking time for himself to even continue his running and working toward his marathon this fall and, if it wasn't for me trying (I am not always successful) to "put my foot down" and make him take time for himself, his goals, (and me), he would constantly be with his "flock" as every true shepherd longs to be.

As a teacher, I get my summers "off" to do more ministering. But as a factory worker, he has no break and his "heartbeat" and calling is so much greater and deeper than mine ... My heart aches as I realize his dilemma and there is nothing I can do to help him except to pray "Lord, grant "him" the courage to accept the things he cannot change; to change the things he can; and the wisdom to know the difference." (Serenity Prayer-revised)

The solution? Who knows. We have struggled with this for 10 years but I truly never realized how difficult this must be for Jim ... how torn he must be. Sure he preaches every Sunday, but I now understand what he so often says, "I don't want to be just a preacher ... anyone can do that. I want to be a pastor ... a shepherd."

It would be easier if we had a noncaring church family and lots of unsurmountable problems in our church ... easier to "move on". I am thankful the church has grown and God has allowed us to be a part of that but the demands are so much greater and so many more families need their "shepherd". The dilemma is: Are we helping more my staying and loving them or is that being selfish? A church of this size, especially, needs a fulltime pastor to not only love them, but also to "be there" for them and theirs whenever needed ... someone who is available every day, throughout the day. Otherwise, slowly, they will fall away. We have seen this happen already the last time we reached this number and only God was able to rebuild it. I believe they could financially take on a fulltime pastor now, even though so many of them struggle financially in their personal lives and the church, in general, seems afraid to take that step. But I realize, as long as we are willing to let things "ride", they will, because ... they love us so! They see no need to change ... They don't know what they need and what is best for them because they have never had anything else. Sometimes the best way you can show your love for someone is to "let go". Sometimes you must sacrifice your own desires for the sake of those you love ... so they can grow to be all God wants them to be. Sometimes we must plant the seed, but another may be needed to water it and help it to grow.

I remember the days I had to "let go" of my children. I would have loved to have kept them "under my wing" to protect them but I knew that was not for their best interests. We had loved them faithfully (as we still do), raised them in the church, planted the spiritual seed in their lives, and done our best to teach them right from wrong and how to survive in this world. As a result of "letting go", I have watched them grow - emotionally, spiritually, in love and maturity. They never would have grown so well if I had insisted on them never leaving me. I would have stifled their growth from becoming all they have become... all they will become. How scary that is ... to let those you love so dearly out of your own constant watch and care. To entrust them into the care of others. But how exciting to see them grow, especially to be "like Jesus" ... "in wisdom, and in stature, and in favor with God and man." What a blessing to know that even though we cannot be there ... our Heavenly Father will "never leave them nor forsake them" - We can pray his "umbrella of protection" upon them and know He "is faithful to do all we ask" of Him.

Pray for us as we seek God's direction. Pray for our church ... our wonderful church family ... and that we can have strength to "be there" for them as God leads.

STILL ADJUSTING ... BUT ... THIS IS GOOD!

Well, we are ending our second week of Jim being on "day turn" and it just gets better every day. He is doing little "sweet" things for me that he hasn't often done in recent years like opening the car door for me and buying me a dozen red roses "just because". But, what is really awesome, and I still can't believe it is true, he comes to my aid almost "immediately" (if at all possible) to do things for me and come to my aid when I need help ... Things that used to be put on his "To Do" list and I never had a clue when (or if) they would ever be done. I keep waiting for it to "wear off" ... but so far it is just getting better! I am so thankful to have him "back" in spirit ... the man I fell in love with and married. Ya know, I have always tried to "be there" for Jim to help him when he needed me, but now I look for opportunities to do it even more. I was even able to give him a suggestion to how to solve a problem outside today, and I was so excited that he used it! It made me feel good I could help make his tasks easier.

Well, tomorrow will technically end my "3 Week Body Makeover" program. I have lost about 4 pounds. I can't tell by measuring that I have lost any inches but my clothes are fitting better, I am definitely stronger in my arms and legs, I can walk comfortably at a much faster pace, I have improved my cardiovascular ability and I feel good about my accomplishments! I am determined to continue on with this exercise program, with adaptations as needed, and watching more closely what I eat in order to establish a healthier lifestyle. I am almost to the point that I am about to do away with taking a multivitamin and at least one of the medicines I am presently on. It is exciting what self-discipline can do!

EMPATHY - SHARING ANOTHER'S EMOTIONS OR FEELINGS

Praying for blessings and comfort to all who share in the loss of a precious little angel.

Have you ever had someone say, "I know how you feel?" and you feel like screaming at them, "No, you don't know how I feel! You have never gone through what I am going through!"


I think many of us have. When I read Kelly's (my daughter-in-law's) blog today about a couple who lost a set of twins at, or close to, birth and just had a miscarriage, I knew that it was not just a normal passing on of a prayer request for that couple. I knew Kelly probably relived her loss of little Elijah, even as I relived my loss of our little Joshua James. In fact, when James and Kelly lost their little Elijah, I found myself often referring to him as "Joshua" when I spoke about him for probably a month after because I was grieving my loss once again while I was grieving theirs, and my new one as a grandparent, at the same time. If you have ever been pregant and carried a child any length of time, then lost it, you know the heart wrenching pain this couple is going through ... You can truly empathize. I don't know how people could survive such losses on this earth if they don't know the Lord ... I know that I couldn't have! I pray that this couple will find the comfort and peace that only God can give them through this painful time. And I pray that they will not give up, but "keep the faith" and one day hold a "little bundle of joy" in their arms.

Dear Jesus, take care of our little ones in Heaven and on earth. Amen.

SO BLESSED!!


Sunday night in church we shared the ways that God speaks to us strongest as individuals. I shared that for me it is through His Word and through nature. Then, yesterday, as I walked up to our house on returning from seeing my newly born great-niece, it happened! It was as though all nature ... the birds, deer, wind blowing, trees, flowers, blue sky, clouds, sun ... everything seemed to lift my heart in praise to God. It was unmistakeably HIS "still, small voice"!! It is in times like that when I actually slow down (which is rough in the rushing pace of everyday life for all of us) and "wait on the Lord" that He blesses me through and through.

My mind seemed to fly back through my lifetime as I thought of God's intervention and moving in my life to bring me to this day, this moment of time:

I thought of my parents who always believed in me and were successful in instilling in me a good self-esteem (something I never seemed able to be fully successfull in doing for my own children).

I thought of my many life choices, especially the one I made in decliniing a fully paid tuition to Moody Bible College (a gift offered by my German teacher) to attend Mount Vernon Nazarene College where I met my husband. That one choice sent my entire life down a totally different road than what I would have had because if I had never met Jim ... I wouldn't be the "me" I am today. That's why I love the poem, "Two roads diverged in the woods and I, I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference!"

I thought of those financially tight beginning years of our lives - especially the one time we only had crackers in our house to eat for supper ... but I had a husband that believed in the Almighty God and His providing care as I did ... and we survived just fine because we had each other, and our faith, and our committed love - in richness or poorness!

I thought of the joy we felt as God blessed us with 3 children. Even though He chose to take one right back "home" with Him at birth, He allowed us the privilege of caring for the other two and was always there to put His "umbrella of protection" upon them when we could not "be there" to protect and guide them.

I thought of all our different ministries, churches, jobs, friends and family ... the bad times and the good times ... God was always there to "work all things together for good".

I thought of: How God blessed our children with good, loving spouses and precious little ones ... our grandchildren! How he has, and continues to, bless them in their lives and choices even as He has blessed and led us through the years.

And then I looked around our property that we bought only 11 years ago ... our first and only home we have ever owned, our fields, our trees, and even our new building... and I burst into tears of gratitude to God and praised Him for His blessings! I thanked Him for all He has done and for entrusting into our care all our possessions which I know are His and could disappear tomorrow ... Yet I would still trust Him .. I would still love Him ... I would always believe in Him!

I remember, as a young wife and mother, struggling financially and being so blessed by God's people showering us with their love, with clothing, food, and even monetary gifts so often because ... God led them to do so. And I remember praying that God would allow us to be able to be on the "giving" side some day ... and He has answered that prayer. I don't know for how long, but it sure does bring unsurpassing joy to have the ability to bless others as we have been blessed. It has helped me realize the trueness of the saying, "It is more blessed to give than to receive."

Yes, I am TRULY BLESSED! I could never record all the blessings of my Lord and Savior but He knows my heart and that is all that is needed.

With all our parents gone, Jim and I realize we are now the "older folks" at our family reunions, in church, and most places we go. I am becoming more and more aware of how life is a cycle. We are born and would never survive if it was not for the loving care and provision of those we call our "parents" and the home, food, clothing, and guidance they provide for us. We grow, so innocent, as children. We rebel and strive for independence, especially in our toddler and teenage years. We mature (hopefully) and set out with great ambition and joy to "make a home of our own". Then we become the "parents" and the cycle begins again. But what about "our parents"? Do they cease to exist? No, we still love them ... It is just we have our "own family" now and all the pressures, responsibilities, demands, and joys they bring.

Meanwhile, the now "grandparents" seem to return to the childlike state in their "old age". Due to these physical bodies ... these earthly shells ... growing old and weary, having more illnesses ... diseases ... dementia, etc. ... They may not be able to: get around as well without our help, remember things, think as clearly, take care of themselves and their personal needs without our help. They almost return to that "baby" state of needing a "parent" to care for them and their needs and since their parents are gone, their children become their parents. The scriptures even talk about this: "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (I Cor. 13:11) I cannot think of the reference of another passage that says, essentially: "The day is coming, and now is, when others will lead you where you do not wish to go ..." I know that that passage refers to the "last days" prior to Christ's return but it is also so true of the "winter" of our lives when we can no longer care for ourselves, struggling to maintain our independence by "doing it ourselves", yet having to be cared for and directed by our children. LIFE ... it may seem unfair, but is what we have on this earth. We all pray we will never come to that "state of being" but do we do all we can to delay it? Do we eat healthy and exercise regularly to try to keep these bodies in the best condition possible until the Lord chooses to take us home? That is my goal as I have nearly completed my "3 Week Body Makeover" and sought to create for myself a healthier lifestyle in diet and exercise for as long as I am on this earth.

I love I Corinthians 9! This may be taking a passage out of context a bit but, to me, it applies to living a healthier life, both physically (through a good diet and exercise) and spiritually (through daily reading God's Word and prayer) : "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." (I Cor. 9:24-27)

God is good!

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND

Something happened last night that made me think back to our Sunday School lesson on Sunday. We were studying Ezekiel 18:2 that says, "What do you people mean by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: 'The fathers eat sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge?'" During class we discussed "proverbs" or sayings that our parents often said and/or lived by like: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "Don't judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes."

Last night my mind started thinking on some others that seem to be somewhat related. How many parents, when they come to the end of their patience, have said to their child: "I hope when you grow up you have a child just like you!"? Then there are the sayings, "Out of the mouth of babes come words that Mom and Dad should never have uttered in the first place" and "The leaf never falls far from the tree." We laugh, but aren't these true? How many of us sigh as we look at our children in frustration and say, "Why did they pick up all my bad traits and habits, and not my good?"

Last, but not least, I shared a "proverb" with the Sunday School class my mother sometimes told me: "What goes around, comes around."The older I get the more I realize the truth of this statement and the ones in the paragraph above. My son is so much like me it is freaky at times. I see in him things that reflect what I unconsciously modeled in what I would say, do, and how I would act and react in certain situations. Thank the Lord, many of these are good reflections, but there are some I wish he had not picked up ... I now get to feel what others felt when I unconsciously modeled these things for him.

Sometimes, as we look back on our lives as parents and as children, we wish we could do it over, especially in the area of relationships. We often say, "If only I had known..." But life gives us only one "shot". For instance, as a mother, if I had been a teacher first and known more%

I WILL CONTINUE TO PURSUE MY GOAL!

What an awesome weekend! After a week of Jim finally being on Permanent "Day Turn", we decided to celebrate this past weekend by "running away" to Conneaut Lake Friday night and Saturday. I did not get my 20 minute speed walk scheduled exercises in on Saturday but we were so active I believe it made up for it.

Sunday, I resumed my scheduled walk/exercise program ... I will continue to pursue my goal! It was so much more fun to have Jim awake and not having to get his "nap" for work Sunday night. We took a young man (our "adopted son" - Marc) with us out to the high school track and they jogged while I walked for an entire hour! It was a little on the hot side but we had a nice breeze and it was fun to be "together" on a Sunday afternoon.

Today I played it "lazy" again, sleeping in until about 7:45. I've decided this will need to stop and I plan on getting up at least by 7:00 from now on this week. With my exercise goals I need to take advantage of the extra hours I have available to me to exercise and still clean house, do some reading & planning for school, as well as just relax. VBS is this week so my evenings are already committed which makes my day shorter.

I spent quite a bit of time on the phone today fulfilling mentoring responsibilities and got a call letting me know I am again a great-aunt! Little Leah Faith was born yesterday morning to Dawn and Aaron, Aaron James and Abbey. Abbey is so excited to have her wishes for a baby sister come true!

Well, there is still much to be done before VBS so I will close for now.

MAGICAL 3'S and the FUN OF NUMBERS!

While talking to my daughter yesterday she told me about a realization that came to her the other day. On August 9th her son Canaan will be 3 months old (now weighing in at 12 pounds 9 and 1/2 oz. and 23" long), on August 10th her daughter Adelaide will be 3 years old, and on August 11 Sunshine herself will be 30 years old and all 3 birthdays will occur within a 3 day timeframe! Strange, huh? We have often talked of how her motherhood has been much like mine since She was my firstborn - a girl - born on August 11th and Adelaide was her firstborn - a girl - born on August 10th. James was my second child - a boy - born May 31 and Canaan was her second child - a boy - born May 9th. The only difference is she had an extra year between her children. Strange but COOL!

Well, another day has been completed of my "3 Week Body Makeover" and I am having soreness in areas I never have had soreness in my life ... the balls of my feet! But it doesn't seem to hurt when I walk ... mainly when I touch them with my hand and occasionally when a type of cramping pain shoots through them when I am sitting ... Probably telling me to get up and move again! (smile)

I have shopping to do today for upcoming birthdays and an anniversary so I better get out the door! "Be stong in the Lord and in His mighty power." ( Ephesians 6:10)

OVER HALF WAY THERE!

I am so excited to realize I have been able to stick with this exercise program and I am feeling better daily. Although I have lost very little weight I have built up my cardiovascular ability tremendously. Now I am trying to figure out what I will do when I complete this "3 Week Body Makeover" in order to maintain the improvements I have made in my overall health.

I've learned a lot about health over the past year since I subscribed to Prevention magazine. I know that any exercise program or diet cannot be a "fad" that comes and goes but must develop into being an overall new lifestyle. I started a change in the eating habits of my lifestyle well over a year and a half ago to eat mainly chicken and other white meats with very little red meat and to include a lot more fiber, fresh fruits and vegetables, along with 8-10 glasses of water a day ... and that alone has improved my overall health. Now all I have to do is add in a better maintainence walking program when this is completed.

Too bad I didn't start all of this when I was 20 years younger and it was a lot easier to lose weight and get in shape. I never realized how much my metabolism would slow down the older I got ... especially after 30. So, if you still are around that magical age and have some changes you want to make in your health and lifestyle, don't put it off like I did. Today is the day! This is a Grandma who plans to be able to take her grandkids backpacking when she is in her 60's and 70's!

REAPING THE BENEFITS OF A HUSBAND ON DAY TURN

I pray this is not a dream! Jim seems to have more interest in helping me with "little things" and energy to do it "now" instead of 6 months later. For instance, last night my new cheese slicer broke. I was ready to pitch it and Jim offered to fix it. Even though I told him not to bother (cause I am so used to him being too tired and "stretched thin" to mess with such minute items of need) he still took it upon himself to seek out the tools and materials needed, fix it, and place it in my hands within the half hour after it broke! He is my "hero"! (smile) I have often told him that when he has come to my aid but I have a feeling I will be saying it even more frequently. I am so excited to not just be his "helpmate" but to have my helpmate back in my life. Not that he has not always tried to "be there" for me but it was not always achieved in a "timely manner" nor as willingly ... actually excitedly ... as he completed this task on my behalf. I do believe that the man I married has come back to me ... one with energy and joy of living. Now I am starting to wonder if I will be able to keep up with him! (smile) Ya know, perhaps that is what gave me the energy to get out of bed earlier today in order to wave goodbye to him at the door!

My walking and exercises are completed for the day and now I must go take pictures the progress on our building for my Honey. Have a great day and do something special for Your Helpmate. God bless.

WE CAN DO ALL THINGS ... THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES US STRENGTH!

Day 9 of my 3 Week Body Makeover has been completed! Unfortunately I left my book at the church last night so I had to do the Tummy Toning exercises from memory so I just added a few others I learned a long time ago from some physical therapy I had to go through.

I must be truthful. I do not know if I would have the energy or fortitude to complete this plan if I was working right now. I never realized when I chose my career of being a school teacher what a blessing it would become to me as I got older and just wanted a time of rest to "do what I want". Others went into their teaching careers with "summer's off" being one of their primary reasons. I always thought they were "crazy". I love to teach so much. But now I am really appreciating that benefit. Even though I do still work in the summer preparing for the upcoming year and sometimes taking workshops, I am in control of when and what I do in planning my daily schedules.

I recently became aware that my blogs are being posted as being completed 3 hours earlier than they are done. For instance, right now it is indicating I am up, have completed my exercises, and am ready to start my day all before 7:00 AM! That's cool! But it is actually 10:00 AM. I also realized this morning that I put my age in my blog yesterday as 53 when I am actually only 52. Most women lie about their age and say they are younger than they really are and here I went and made myself older! Unreal! Guess it is because I believe you never need to "act your age". You are only as old as you allow yourself to believe and feel in your heart. Age is no excuse for slowing down in trying new adventures and challenging activities. That, and hanging around with youth, is what will keep you young. Working with teens in the church and teaching Kindergarten have kept my eyes open to the simple, fun things of life. I plan to never change!

Well, the day awaits me! Our new building now has half of a roof completed so I am going to go take some more pictures.

"Help us O Lord our God, for we rest on You." 2 Chronicles 16:6-13

"No one is stronger than the one who depends on God." (Daily Bread July 18, 2005)

THIS IS IT!

As my husband climbed out of bed at 6:00 AM to get ready for work I realized "This is it!" He is actually a "day turn" worker now! This is how each morning will feel ... except, once I get through the laziness of my summer off from school, I plan to start getting up with him (or at least by 6:30) to wave goodbye to him from the door ... After all, that is the "tradition" of our lives together! I have always tried to be there for hiim (and he for me) waving goodbye whenever we must part for the day.

The men are back at work on our new building this morning and I am in charge of taking progress pictures since Jim is at work ... my mission for the day. Why? Because I love him!

I completed my 8th day of my "3 Week Body Makeover" plan and was shocked to see that, even though I had read the directions over and over and over, I had not completed the exercises correctly this past week. I was only doing 1 repetition of a set of doing each exercise 10-12 times when I was supposed to do 3 repetitions. I kept thinking it was quite easy to do ... except for the pushups! Then I thought back to last Tuesday when I could barely move. I doubt I could have completed 3 repetitions even if I had tried and if I had done so I probably would have literally not been able to walk! I wonder if there should be an age limit on those who attempt this routine? I consider myself to be quite "fit" for a woman 53 years old but I do not think I could have done the first week as directed. This week I seem to be a bit stronger and hopefully I will be able to do it correctly. At least I have done the walking routines correctly! The scales do not inidicate I have lost any weight but, when we took a bike ride last night, Jim noted that my endurance had increased! I was able to ride at a faster speed without getting so winded as I used to all the time. That made me feel good. Not just that my efforts to adhere to this program had shown some benefit but that my husband noticed it and complimented me on it! We all need to work on praising our spouses more if we are honest about it. Our Gary Smalley "Relationships" videos that we watch with our small group from church always seem to help us become more aware of things like that. You are never too young or too old to learn and improve!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ) Phillipians 4:13